Empath/Narcissisist relationship is the perfect example of good vs. evil incarnate. Two opposites coming together would usually bring balance whereas this alchemic combination is usually very toxic in nature for the Empath.
“Never underestimate the empowered empath. Our kindness and compassion are too often mistaken for weakness or naivety, while we are in fact highly calibrated human lie detectors…and fearless warriors for truth and justice.”
― Anthon St. Maarten
Empaths are highly sensitive beings they have qualities that ascend certain normal attributes when it comes to emotion. They have an innate capacity to discern what people around them feel and go through. Empaths have a hard time filtering out their feelings from those of others. They get buried in whatever situation or circumstances around them. It is bittersweet in nature where feelings of pleasure and pain are not ever completely full but are mixed instead.
A narcissist type personality seeks out people such as empaths… it is their perfect counterpart. I cannot legitimately say that this combination in couples never works but it is very rare and always benefits the narcissistic type personality. It has the capacity to destroy the empath personality type. It is more likely the narcissistic type is a man and the female the empath.
Empaths want to take away other people’s pain and the Narcissist is more than happy to take (and keep taking) this drug of emotional regulation to where it becomes parasitic. They become like a drug to each other. The Narcissist becomes a challenge for the Empath to heal or fix, just thinking “if I love them enough I can heal them”. Poor boundaries result both physically emotionally and energetically.
In my studies and first-hand experience, I see that although most Empaths are born this way they can also be created by having a parent that is a narcissist type. The child learns that if they have no needs they are more desirable to others which makes them become a magnet for more narcissistic types in the future, it becomes a vicious cycle of emotional abuse leading the Empaths as they are groomed to become victims to more abuse as adults.
There is also a struggle for the behavior The Narcissist showed to lure the Empath in…maybe it will come back they think. The kind of behavior filled with empty promises is what keeps the Empath going and soon the Empath can feel like it was something they did wrong. The Narcissist works solely off of ego. One of the things that attract the Empath to the Narcissist is the Empath’s inverted self. What freedom comes to a Narcissist when they have mastered the art of not giving a fuck, this is a Freudian desire to an Empath who can’t shake caring even if they tried.
The Narcissist becomes like a vicious cycle of drug addiction for the empath fighting to gain the person they met at the beginning of the relationship. At first, the Narcissist will come across as the man of her dreams but this is only an act to lure her in and then over a long enough period of time all this will change. The empath fights and hopes that one day that he will be that way again. If the Empath brings up anything that coincides with a Narcissist’s fantasy The Narcissist will say terms like “you are delusional” or “you are overreacting”. The Narc is completely emotionally unavailable.
You will see many narcissistic types of personalities in jobs like CEOs of big companies and politicians because these types are driven by power, status, and money. This is causing massive amounts of gaslighting to the public. Honestly, I was raised by a Narcissistic mother that I did not realize until in my forties. I always thought something was wrong with me and had extremely low self-esteem, I battled with depression and anxiety. I remember the exact article from a site called “Mommy Needs a Vodka” that brought me to my realization and the start of a long journey of learning to actually love myself. I have been in two long-term relationships with these types and I find it somewhat amusing that it has helped me to understand the American government. There will be at least one more part to this article where I will break down the types of Narcissists. I will also be focused more on ways of healing from the aftermath of Narcissistic abuse, and even things to do to stay sane if you are still in said relationships. Hint: The key word is validation you will need to learn to obtain validation from yourself and that will be all you need.
No matter the reason there are always lessons to learn from any situation. In this specific case, the Narcissists will have unintentionally taught you many things.
- Learning to set healthy boundaries in the future
- Self-love
- Forgiveness
A Heyoka in Native American means sacred clown it also describes those who are emotional mirrors to those around them, also defined as one who acts in a way contrary or different from the way everybody else does. This is an Empath extraordinaire.
“Highly sensitive people are too often perceived as weaklings or damaged goods. To feel intensely is not a symptom of weakness, it is the trademark of the truly alive and compassionate. It is not the empath who is broken, it is a society that has become dysfunctional and emotionally disabled. There is no shame in expressing your authentic feelings. Those who are at times described as being a ‘hot mess’ or having ‘too many issues’ are the very fabric of what keeps the dream alive for a more caring, humane world. Never be ashamed to let your tears shine a light in this world.”
― Anthon St. Maarten
“Playing the victim role: Manipulator portrays him- or herself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else’s behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy, or evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation.”
― George K. Simon Jr.
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